so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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