I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
