I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
