I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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