we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize