You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
