People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
