fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
