do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
