Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
