How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
