tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
