btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
