i just made my gag reflex go away.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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