two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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