I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize