I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
