Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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