Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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