Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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