Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize