I will die if light touches me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
