now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
