The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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