I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
