no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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