i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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