turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
