new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
