oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Pooping to opera.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize