come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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