I need help removing her.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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