How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
