FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
