I think i peed on brittanys purse
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
