The maid of honor just puked.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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