He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
