happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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