Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
