So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
