Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
