my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize