Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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