he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize