I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how can u be prego again
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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