Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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