I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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