I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
