Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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