please come you make the beer taste better
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
