dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
