I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
