I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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