peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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