True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
