is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
