In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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