So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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