Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
