If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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