with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
