Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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