Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
