Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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