This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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