Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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