nut hugger
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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