I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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