I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
