remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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