He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
